My latest column idea for A.D.D. is one that’s geared towards random musings on classic pop culture.
For this inaugural installment, I have written down the thoughts that swirled through my head as I watched Return Of The Jedi (the DVD Special Edition) last night.
These are just the types of things that pop out of my brain when I watch movies.
1. In terms of mannerisms, C-3PO is the droid reincarnation of Dr. Zachary Smith from the Lost In Space television series.
2. The green-skinned dancing girl from Jabba the Hutt’s dismal palace looks like she came from the movie Heavy Metal.
3. For a badass bounty hunter, Boba Fett dies a pretty awkward and humiliating death.
4. Ewoks are craftier and a little meaner than I remember, but they’re still too cute and cuddly to be taken seriously.
5. The medical frigate in the Rebel Alliance fleet is as unwieldy a starship as the Discovery One from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
6. Turning over to the Dark Side of the Force imbues one with an unattractive, pasty complexion.
7. What kind of employment benefits do stormtroopers get?
8. When Admiral Ackbar told the Rebel forces, “May the Force be with us,” I expected him to add, “Every one” in Tiny Tim fashion.
9. Star destroyers may look big and bad, but they are pretty easy to blow up. The Empire had a QC issue there.
10. I wonder if Denis Lawson, who played Wedge, was thinking during filming, “Wow, I’ve had the same bit part in three of the biggest movies of all time!”
11. Darth Vader turning on the Emperor is one of the great father/son bonding moments in cinema history.
12. Princess Leia has some pretty great hairstyles in this installment. I don’t need a slave girl outfit to confirm her hotness.
13. During the climactic Death Star attack sequence, my mind flashed back to the line in Clerks about all of the innocent independent contractors who were killed during this offensive.
14. While on a basic revisionist level I get why George Lucas inserted Hayden Christensen’s image as young Anakin Skywalker into the final ghostly image of the film, they could have digitally altered Luke’s reaction to reflect, “So that’s what my Dad looked like before he became a fascist freak!”